My Life As A Teenage Human
by Twitchylicious
Summary: The Almighty Tallest have become humans and are forced to stay at Earth and IT'S ALL ZIM'S FAULT. RaPr, ZaGir, ZaTf -Zim and Tallest friendship- and possible ZaDf. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not, never have and never will own the brilliance that is Invader ZIM. This makes me sad.  
**

**I had a dream last night and the plot bunnies commanded me. Evil little bunnies... **

**Oh, and yes, I did rip the title off of My Life As A Teenage Robot. I don't own that, either.  
**

"Zim, you did this to us! Undo it this instant!" a purple haired boy demanded, hands on hips. He was wearing a purple tee with the Irken symbol on it in black, black jeans, purple converse and a purple backpack. He was purple eyed, tall, skinny and currently considering ripping off the head of the small Irken in front of him. There was a boy standing next to him who looked almost identical to him, except everything purple on the first boy was replaced by red on this one.

These 'humans' were once rulers of an alien race. They were once known as the Almighty Tallest. They were once living a life of luxury on a giant ship called the Massive, until a certain Invader ruined it all with a single machine.

"How does a device that's supposed to make _snacks_ turn us into _humans_, anyway?" Red sneered, seething with pure anger.

Having been sent a machine meant as a gift for supplying endless snacks, the two simply couldn't resist. Yes, they knew of Zim's inferior intellect. Still, the temptation had just been too strong. They remembered pressing the big green button, lights flashing, smoke surrounding them and feeling their bodies transform. When a lackey entered the room shortly afterwards, he immediately informed the guards of the 'intruders'. Failing to convince him of their true identities, they were forced to make an escape.

"My Tallest, I am deeply regretful for what happened to you. You above all others did not deserve to become such _filthy_ creatures. But rest assured, the great Invader Zim will fix this." their not so humble, yet fiercely loyal subject insisted.

Having taken a rather tiny and cramped spacecraft, it hadn't taken long for the two to realize in horror what was the only planet that they'd be able to blend in on. Next thing they knew, they were on Zim's doorstep asking for help and yelling angrily at him simultaneously.

"Oh ho, you better! You have no _idea_ what awful punishments are running through my mind right as I speak!" Red threatened, glaring coldly enough that Zim visibly flinched in response.

"TACOS!" GIR screeched, a stupid grin spread across his metal face as he giggled insanely. Purple's eye twitched and he restrained himself from stomping the SIR unit into tin foil. Heaving a sigh, he clenched his teeth in an attempt to control his temper and the tone of his voice as his gaze returned to Zim.

"How soon can you get us back to normal and what are we supposed to do while we wait?" he asked, fearing what the answer to his question may be.

"Uh, actually… I'm not exactly sure. I'm afraid I wasn't prepared for this… inconvenience, my Tallest." Zim replied meekly, a sheepish smile on his lips. Little was he aware that he'd infuriated Red even further.

"_You _weren't prepared? This is merely an _inconvenience _to you? Well, Zim, _I'm_ prepared to get rid of an inconvenience at this very moment!" he snapped, filled with fury. Purple nodded in agreement, scowling and trying to seem as menacing as possible. According to Red, he did a bad job at that.

"I didn't mean to offend you, my Tallest! Please, forgive me! I promise to get working straight away!" Zim cried out, covering his head with his arms to protect himself from their wrath. Red hesitated, then frowned as he decided Zim's destruction would have to be put on hold. He and Purple needed to be themselves again and, as much as he hated to admit it, that would require the annoying pipsqueak's assistance.

"Fine, but count yourself lucky!" he growled, trembling with the blazing flame of rage that had consumed him. Purple understood, although he was a bit surprised. When Red was this mad, he usually didn't consider the consequences of his actions. He guessed that this strange and… distasteful situation must be the exception.

"As you command, my Tallest!" Zim shouted, saluting his leaders as he hurried to his base. Red and Purple glanced at each other, their expressions a mixture of irritation and doubt. Having nothing else to do, they sat on the couch and stared incredulously at the television screen.

"What is this _garbage_?" Purple wondered aloud in disgust. Red shrugged, appearing equally appalled. GIR jumped up on the piece of furniture and waved at them before he began to watch the moving pictures with intense concentration.

"I love this show…" he murmured in fascination, seeming in awe of the monkey he was focusing on. Red and Purple rolled their eyes. Had they really expected anything more from a robot made from scraps? They snickered at this, sharing a secret joke as they both smirked faintly. At least there was _something _to laugh about. Who knew, maybe this 'Earth' had decent snacks?

**Please, please review. No flames, though. Compliments and _constructive_ criticism only. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Still don't own IZ. -sadface-**

"GIR, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" screamed an absolutely livid Zim, jaw practically touching the ground. GIR now stood before the small Irken, not as a robot, but as a human being.

"I wanted ta know what da funneh machine-y thingy diiiid." GIR replied, still grinning stupidly as always. He basically looked like the human version of his SIR unit form, with his silver hair and cyan eyes. He was rather pale and lanky and so revoltingly _human_ that Zim could hardly bear it. Having his Tallest become such despicable creatures was bad enough!

"Well, isn't _that _just unfortunate." Red droned with mock sympathy. He smirked at Purple and winked, his partner responding by muffling his laughter with a hand covering his mouth.

"Yeah. I guess you'll have to work doubly hard to get all three of us back to normal." Purple added, giving Red a triumphant high five as Zim was turned away. It was about time the little squirt got what was coming to him. As Zim paced, he realized there was only one option.

"You'll have to come with me to Hiskool." he announced, sighing. Red and Purple simply stared at each other as GIR cheered joyfully.

"What's this… Hiskool you speak of?" Purple asked, dumbfounded.

"It's like a training academy for humans, but with more learning and less sparring." Zim explained, glancing up at his leader.

"Will this speed the process of you fixing us?" Red inquired, arms crossed over his chest. Zim shrugged, earning a growl from his already angry superior.

"Trust me, it's for the best." he tried to assure Red. Purple twitched, causing Zim to flinch.

"Why should we trust _you_?" Purple spat, glaring fiercely at the incompetent Invader. Red grabbed his companion's arm and shook his head.

"Remember, we _do_ need him to become ourselves again." he whispered in Purple's ear, who groaned and nodded grudgingly.

"Alright, _Zim_, you have one chance to set this right!" Purple snapped, his lips in a pout. Zim smiled eagerly and ranted on about how he wouldn't disappoint.

"…and so, you surely must know you can rely on me, your faithful subject!" he finished, nearly boring Red and Purple to death at this point. Relieved about Zim's speech ending, they muttered thanks to the universe which had to have had pity on them.

"When does Hiskool start?" Red suddenly wondered aloud.

"Tomorrow morning, sir." Zim answered, sitting down next to him on the couch. Red scooted away, as if afraid he'd contract some sort of disease. Purple snickered at this, although he's quite aware that he would have done the same.

"I'm hungry." he declared, listening to his stomach rumble. Red grumbled his agreement and stood, prepared to turn the base upside down in search of snacks.

"TACOS!" GIR screeched, flinging his limbs in the air.

"SHUT IT!" Red and Purple shouted in unison. Zim shot his once metal servant a dirty look as they wandered off into the kitchen.

"Don't ruin this, GIR!"

"Okie dokie, Mastah!"

**Shortshortshort. Sorry. :c **

**The story is just about to pick up, though, I promise. ;D  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Guess what? My computer exploded! :D **

**...Not really, but it was malfunctioning. So then I had to get the money to buy a new computer. But I had my eyes on a fancy one and it took longer than I expected. I GOTS IT, THOUGH! And I'm back to write once again! As Gaz might say, "The rightful order has been restored." **

**Oh, yeah. Don't own IZ. Yet. Haha, JK. I'll always be poor. x)**

Dib couldn't place his finger on it, but there was something about these new kids that seemed... odd. Especially the fact that Zim was practically drooling over two of them, the red and purple brothers. And the silver one just drooled. Period. As for the tall guys that Zim appeared to worship, they both wore shirts with a weird symbol on them that he couldn't help feeling he vaguely remembered. Of course, he was far too busy wondering what Zim was planning to really think about that. After all, Zim hated humans. Why would he be acting like a slave to this pair?

"Doesn't it strike you as strange, Gaz?" Dib asked, glaring suspiciously in his enemy's direction.

Silence.

"Gaz?" he glanced over his shoulder and found that his sister had left him to spy on the alien alone. Sighing, he noticed a "Kick me" sign on his back that looked alarmingly like her handwriting. Before he could rip it off, the quarterback of the football team came running towards him and kicked him hard in the rear. Falling to the ground, Dib groaned in pain and winced as he rubbed his buttocks tenderly. Laughter filled the halls as he stood up and he grimaced when he heard Zim guffawing the loudest.

"Pathetic Dib-human!" Zim sneered, then turned to his Almighty Tallest and GIR. The Tallest, finished giggling at Dib's humiliation, scowled at the Invader as they had been doing the entire time they'd been on Earth.

"What now?" Red demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. Zim, still aware that he was already walking on thin ice, paused a minute to think about his answer. The last thing he needed was to accidentally upset his leaders any further. However, he could tell Red was becoming impatient and finally spoke.

"We go to class and pretend as if we're normal human filth until the end of the day, when we return to my base and I continue trying to fix this mess. Don't worry, my Tallest, Zim will not let you down!" the Irken exclaimed, saluting his superiors in respect. Red and Purple frowned at each other and shrugged. Zim realized how unusually quiet GIR was being and looked in his direction, but saw that he was gone. Zim felt panic begin to set in, frantically searching around for him everywhere.

"Wait." he murmured, recalling that GIR had squealed about playing hide and seek earlier. Growling, he smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"GIR! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Zim shouted, glowering as the boy leaped out of his assigned locker.

"HERE I AM, MASTAH!" he screeched, causing many to cover their ears. As Zim was about to yell at him, the bell rang. Purple jumped and Red gazed at the ceiling, looking for the source of the noise. GIR hid behind Zim with a frightened expression and whimpered, obviously startled by the sudden sound.

"That's the signal for Hiskool to start." Zim explained calmly, leading the way to homeroom. Coincidentally, Ms. Bitters happened to be transferred to Hiskool after Zim and Dib graduated Skool. Apparently, Skool had gotten a much sunnier woman to replace her. Now their former teacher was back to being their present teacher and they still learned of nothing but gloom and doom all throughout the year. Although this did allow for goofing off whenever the old hag ranted about the end of the world, which was most of the time, so not a lot of students were complaining.

"Today we have three miserable adolescents to add to this crowded, sad excuse for a Hiskool. Their futures, just like yours, will be dark and horrible. Introduce yourselves and find a seat, you little brats!" Ms. Bitters snapped, as nasty as ever.

"She scares me..." GIR whispered and the Tallest had to agree with him for once, shuddering as a chill crawled up their spines. The trio muttered their names and sat in the first desks they spotted, Zim following. Dib watched the group silently, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. They were so familiar, but why? There had to be reason. He had to know them from somewhere. That's when it hit him like a truck driving at a hundred miles per hour. What did Zim call the rulers of his planet, the Almighty Tallest? They must have been the people that looked like twins! And then there was his robot servant! That SIR unit or whatever it was called certainly had to be the idiot!

"I've caught on to your little friends, Zim. It's only a matter of time before I expose all of you!" he chuckled, smirking almost evilly.

"Stop talking to yousrelf! Jeez, what a weirdo!" a random kid grumbled, rolling his eyes. Dib drooped, shaking his head. He didn't bother to defend himself, knowing that he'd never get anybody to believe him besides a younger sibling that didn't even care. It was his lonely duty to prevent Zim from conquering his race, but it'd be worth it. Eventually.

He hoped.


	4. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

**I'm going on hiatus for a while. I haven't given up on this story, not even a little, but I have a new story I want to focus on and my life just doesn't allow for much time on the computer. I won't be able to both continue this story and start the one I have in mind and, to be honest, I have more interest in getting my idea written on paper than adding more chapters to my current IZ fan fiction. I will be back, though, so no worries about that. I can't say exactly when I'll return, but you have my word that I will someday in the future.**

**Sincerely,**

**Twitchylicious**

**P.S. Keep on lovin' those pork cows, peeps!**


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